Elliot Page Shares His "Biggest Joy" After Transitioning

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Elliot Page Is Ready for Summer successful First Shirtless Pic

For Elliot Page, happiness is surviving arsenic his authentic self. 

"I can't overstate the biggest joy, which is truly seeing yourself," helium said successful an interrogation for Esquire's summer issue. "I cognize I look antithetic to others, but to maine I'm conscionable starting to look similar myself. It's indescribable, due to the fact that I'm conscionable like, determination I am. And convey God. Here I am."

Before his transition, Elliot didn't deliberation he'd ever consciousness this peace. "The top joyousness is conscionable being capable to consciousness present, literally, conscionable to beryllium present," the Umbrella Academy star continued. "To spell retired successful a radical of caller radical and beryllium capable to prosecute successful a mode wherever I didn't consciousness this changeless sensation to fly from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiousness and nervousness and wanting out. When I accidental I couldn't person ever imagined feeling that way, I mean that with each consciousness of me."

Elliot came retired arsenic transgender successful a connection posted to societal media successful December 2020. "I didn't expect it to beryllium truthful big," helium recalled to the magazine. "In presumption of the existent prime of the response, it was what I expected: love and support from galore radical and hatred and cruelty and vitriol from truthful galore others. I came retired arsenic cheery successful 2014, and it's different. Transphobia is conscionable so, so, truthful extreme. The hatred and the cruelty is truthful overmuch much incessant."

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This wasn't the archetypal clip Elliot had experienced hate. During the interview, the histrion recalled being bullied astatine school. He besides remembered feeling "so inordinately distraught" aft his shot squad was divided up into boys' and girls' leagues.

"I was crying to my mum, 'Please, 1 much year, 1 much year!'" Elliot said. "When I was playing with the boys—soccer, interaction football, retired backmost during recess and lunch—I was having a blast. They did fto maine play 1 much year, past I had to spell to the girls' team. I looked similar the different boys, which I was. I'd beryllium connected the tract astir to footwear the shot erstwhile a ref would say, ‘I don't deliberation boys are allowed to play connected this team.' I inactive played shot for years, but a batch of emotion for it was not there."

In addition, helium shared achy memories from the aboriginal days of his career. For instance, helium said helium was forced to deterioration a formal to the premiere of his 2007 movie Juno at the Toronto International Film Festival. 

"I can't pinpoint a 'worst' day," Elliot said. "But when Juno was blowing up—this sounds unusual to people, and I get that radical don't understand. 'Oh, f--k you, you're famous, and you person money, and you had to deterioration a dress, boo-hoo.' I don't not understand that reaction. But that's mixed with: I privation radical would recognize that that s--t virtually did astir termination me."

Elliot besides said helium could "pretty overmuch not permission immoderate hotel" helium was staying successful erstwhile helium was filming the 2010 movie Inception. 

"I struggled with food. Intense depression, anxiety, terrible panic attacks. I couldn't function," helium shared. "There were days erstwhile I'd lone person 1 meeting, and I'd permission my location to spell to the gathering and person to crook around. Not being capable to get done a script—could not. Reading is 1 of my favourite things to do—I couldn't read, couldn't get done a paragraph."

Today, Elliot is happily surviving arsenic his existent aforesaid and continues to usage his level to advocator for the LGBTQ+ community, receiving the yearly accomplishment grant astatine Outfest in Los Angeles past year.

"Now much than ever, it is truthful important for our voices to beryllium amplified and represented successful movie and media," he said successful a statement, "and for radical to perceive our stories."

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